He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
