security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
