What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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