god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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