Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
