When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
