i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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