If i come over, it means nothing
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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