I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
