we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
