i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize