In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
