SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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