She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
