It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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