it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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