I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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