fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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