What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
