i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
