i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
