Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
