dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
