I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
