I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
