TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize