Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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(323): View more from California

Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.

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(330): View more from Ohio

if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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(540): View more from Virginia

it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.

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(515): View more from Iowa

They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend

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(203): View more from Connecticut

as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

it's gonna be a great weekend

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(815): View more from Illinois

All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.

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