Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
