erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
