Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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