btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
