Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize