everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
