Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
