Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
