I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
