btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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