my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
