Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
