morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
