at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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