She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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