There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
