You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
