So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
