You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
