Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
