I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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