I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
