i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
