Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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