ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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