Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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