Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
