He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
