You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
