It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
