I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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