she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
