so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want a musical about memes.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
