My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
