? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
